Porcupine Tree - My Ashes

Artist: Porcupine Tree

Song: My Ashes

Album: Fear Of A Blank Planet (2007)

 

The concept of the album was heavily influenced by Bret Easton Ellis' novel Lunar Park. The novel is told from the perspective of a father, who bears the name of the novel's author himself, whereas the album is mostly from his son's perspective, an eleven-year-old kid named Robby. Many of the lyrics for Fear of a Blank Planet are lifted directly from the novel, particularly "My Ashes", which is an homage to the last chapter, in which the ashes of Bret's father are scattered and cover the memories of his life.

The lyrics deal with two typical neurobehavioural developmental disorders affecting teenagers in the 21st century: bipolar disorder and attention deficit disorder, and also with other common behaviour tendencies on youth like escapism through prescription drugs, social alienation caused by technology, and the feeling of vacuity product of information overload in the mass media. In an interview with Revolver magazine, Wilson described the main character of the story as "...this kind of terminally bored kid, anywhere between 10 and 15 years old, who spends all his daylight hours in his bedroom with the curtains closed, playing on his PlayStation, listening to his iPod, texting his friends on his cell phone, looking at hardcore pornography on the Internet, downloading music, films, news, violence..."

(…) On Fear of a Blank Planet veteran progressive-rock act Porcupine Tree takes up the task of exploring the alienating forces of the media and its impact on our youths and ourselves. Fear's titular cut features lyrics rife with allusions to the confusing, isolating effects of TV, the X-Box, drugged out consumer escapades, and the ennui that arrives with prescription and self-prescribed numbness. "My Ashes" advances the themes of isolation, as a young person becomes increasingly estranged from himself.

(…)`My Ashes' is stunning, with that perfect verse/chorus interplay Wilson excels at, lush orchestration and nebulous, highly evocative lyrics. The wordless vocal which rounds off the song engenders a kind of urbane emotional atmosphere, a beautiful dignity. 

 

All the things that I needed
I wasted my chances
I have found myself wanting

When a mother and father
Gave me their problems
I accepted them all

Nothing ever expected
I was rejected
But I came back for more

And my ashes drift beneath the silver sky
Where a boy rides on a bike and never smiles

And my ashes fall over all the things we've said
On a box of photographs under the bed

I will stay in my own world
Under the covers
I will feel safe inside

The kiss that will burn me
Cure me of dreaming
I was always returning

And my ashes find a way beyond the fog
And return to save the child that I forgot

And my ashes fade among the things unseen
And a dream plays in reverse on piano keys

And my ashes drop upon a park in Wales
Never-ending clouds of rain, and distant sails... distant sails